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your humble lake dweller

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new livejournal. [08 May 2007|10:06pm]
I'm too lazy to delete my journal or revamp the theme or anything like that. Please ignore all previous entries and the emily-and-I-are-so-in-love-themed decorations.

I'm a fucking 3 year old right now. More to follow.

What's up with my userpic? When was that? it's just... wow.

I am a baby at the moment, crying and crying for things I can't and may never have. I'm sorry for breaking all figurines that are going to fall from the shelves while I pitch these fits on the floor.

some f's in there, i think.

I love you.
4 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[29 Jan 2007|09:54pm]
My world is over.
4 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[17 Sep 2006|10:22pm]

our story of a creature in the lake begins. in a minute or two, he will begin singing better and writing better.
1 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[20 Aug 2006|09:15pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Time for a non-vague entry! YAY!
Writing music is rather difficult. This is consuming quite a bit of my time, but I'm making only a minimal amount of progress.
Bellsouth not providing me with DSL is pissing me off to no end.
In addition to the distances between friends this problem will no doubt cause, friends leaving for college in Atlanta has allowed for even more distances.
Grades are slipping waayyyyy to early in the year. I'm not really worried about this.

Once again, It's all spiraling out of reach. I doubt anyone realizes what I mean by all of this.

2 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[19 Aug 2006|11:58pm]
this livejournal entry is brought to you by miles and miles and miles away. and quite a bit of hours as well.
2 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[28 Jul 2006|01:44pm]
Back home. Made some great friends. Lost some fears and things. I'm going to make this a good year. I'm not wasting a second of it.

[10 Jul 2006|10:03pm]
I have no idea what the fuck is happening up there.
1 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[26 Jun 2006|10:04pm]
You guys have been missing FlCl. It's amazing shit.

Also: Futurama is returning with all new episodes, which will air on Comedy Central circa 2008.

The new Instruments album is out, and it's pretty damn good. Dallas should give Tallahasse to some people.

A quick mass-media update. I miss you guys. Pictures are in order, probably tomorrow. Come quickly, lest I become a tatooed vegan.
1 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[20 Jun 2006|06:37pm]
Am I supposed to feel this alone? Yeah, I'm meeting people, but that's all I'm doing. Everyone I've met, i've talked with twice, tops. literally. Evrey time I meet someone it's like a scripted conversation. It's like I have no idea how to talk. If it's going to be like this after I graduate and go off on my own, I know I won't make it. What's wrong with me? I don't feel interesting or funny. I feel stupid, i feel slow. I'm about to just cave in.

[18 Jun 2006|11:32pm]
Goddamnit. They're pretty much all horny and stupid.

[18 Jun 2006|03:43pm]
I miss home. a lot. I miss you guys. I miss you. I feel alone.

[09 Apr 2006|06:36pm]
I'm not going to remember you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you. or you.

And you won't remember me.

It won't be sad, because none of us will retain what we meant to each other.

But I'll cry. Because you all mean something to me, whether you think so or not. Whether I have proven it or not. Whether I deserve to say I've tried or not.
In fact, I'm crying as I type this.

I'm very afraid of dying without a life to show for it.
1 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

[09 Apr 2006|06:27pm]
the in
ter net.


[05 Apr 2006|10:22pm]
The WHOLE Penelope EP leaked. It might suck, but I still want to hear what all the Star Cecil hubbub is about.

[11 Mar 2006|09:14pm]
The Zombies- Odessey and Oracle

This album is required listening.

To Robby:
Make some efforts.

[03 Mar 2006|07:34pm]

I'm not exactly sure where these came from, but rest assured all of these transmissions were received and recorded by me. Some of them were small and mostyl done on history and chemistry notes, so the enlarging may hurt the quality.

Well that's that. Also, some slightly more structured machine/organic hybrid drawings:

haven't seen any of this in a while:

For Dallas, and in memory of Mr. Knotts:

2 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

you do what you do if you need to fill some empty space [13 Feb 2006|02:36pm]
Why do I do this to myself?
This is how it works:

1. Senseless, angry yearning for the past
2. Depressed, pointless, hopeless yearning for the past.
3. Blocking it out, making half-sarcastic cruel remarks
4. Feeling of worthlessness and inferiority.
5. Blocking it out, but feeling extremely hateful and bitter on the inside.
6. This is the part where all my art goes back to being sad and uninspired. Emptiness, inferiority, bitterness, and ignorance abound.
7. This is where I get into that foolish "everything in life is beautiful" state of mind.
8. I either accept it or forget about it.

I'm not exactly sure where I am right now, but I'm sure I'm not where I need to be, and I'm sure I'm not handling it the right way. I should never have read any of that. I don't know why I do it, but I feel the same unbearable level of shittiness every time.

Some other notes:

With sexual activity comes the designation of male and female in a relationship, beginning the long process of separation.

If you thing about the past too much, it can become a part of your daily life, case in point: I understand a guy I thought I would hate.

I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt and everyone I've let down, because I doubt I've ever apologized.

Musical project [09 Feb 2006|09:16pm]
my least favorite:


I like this one:

This is sort of an intro to the one after it, an imaginary national anthem, if you will.


My favorite one:


These are all barebones and far from complete, and are mostly just fiddling around with the neat little effects, but they give you an idea. I still suck at musical instruments.

[27 Dec 2005|02:01pm]
First update in a while and possibly last update for a while.
A lot is going in my life right now so I'll be brief:

I feel like I'm annoying people to death, like I'm an idiot who doesn't know it half the time. This is nobody's fault or anything. It might just be me, being insecure. But I doubt it.

I'm back to feeling comfortable with Emily, and other people as well. I've learned that if it's something that won't matter the next day, I shouldn't stress over it.

I've got some ideas for a musical project that Dallas and I and whoever else we drag into it may be starting on soon.

I've also fallen in love with The Music Tapes. Most of you guys would probably hate them.

Christmas kicked ass. I have a scarf, something I've never had before. It's my favorite gift. I enjoy owning a scarf more than the LCD HD TV and DVD player with SRS that "Santa" brought me. I'm not even kidding.

Things to do:
Buy a tape recorder
Find and buy a 4-track
work on portfolio
burn music for people
plan music project
clean my room
remember all my dreams
get money
find out everything

[16 Oct 2005|01:22am]
I'm sorry. It's always been and still is a secret dream of mine, to watch you punch some people in the face or kick them in the balls.

I really need to stop going on myspace.

I love you.

The past few weeks have been busy and crazy. I miss stuff.
2 laughing&a-running skipping&a-jumping

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